In this week's Parsha Yosef and Yaakov finally reunite after twenty
- two years. One would expect a reunion filled with emotion with
both sides embracing each other. Rashi points out that the posuk
says Yosef fell and cried on Yaakov's shoulders, but Yaakov held
himself back because he was saying Krias Shema at that time.
The Maharal asks , “ If it was the time to say Krias Shema why
wasn't Yosef saying it as well? On the other hand , if it wasn't
the time to say Shema why now of all times was Yaakov saying it? ” The
Maharal explains that it was n o t the actual time to read Krias
Shema. Naturally, Yaakov at a time of such joy wanted to throw
his arms around his son and embrace him , but he felt that something
had to come first , which was to t hank Hashem for being able to
experience this joy, and realizing that this whole ordeal was a
fulfillment of the Divine plan. As Chazal say “everything that
Hashem does is for the good. ” Righteous people , even at the most
emotional times can take a step back and realize what one is truly
obligated to do. Yosef would have done the same had it not been
for his obligation of Kibud Av . The i dea of saying Krias Shema
at such a time is only a Midas Chasiddus which doesn't take precedence
over a m itzvah. A s piritual level of the magnitude of Yaakov's
or Yosef's is not easy to attain , yet there is a lesson here for
all of us. There was once a man who often visited Harav Yaakov
Kamenetzky zt”l to talk about some problems that he had been facing.
In the middle of his discussion , Reb Yaakov z t”l commented , “ Everyone
comes to me with his problems . I wish people would let me know
when they have simchas as well. ” After leaving the h ome of Reb
Yaakov z t”l , t his person accepted upon himself that anytime
there would be a s imcha in his family he would contact Reb Yaakov
. He understood the m ussar that was given to him It is great to
have someone to share all of your problems with but it i s even
greater to include him in the good things as well.
All the more so in our relationship with
Hashem , W ho is the source of all the b lessings that we receive
in this world. It i s easy in diff i cult times to start saying
Tehillim and davening to Hashem to save us from these t zoros.
The question that needs to be asked sometimes is , “ What are
we doing when times are good? Are we thanking Hashem enough for
all the good the He gives us daily? ”
Yaakov Avinu was able to do even more than just recognize the
good and be thankful for it . He was also able to thank Hashem
for the tzoros as well. I f we are able to thank Hashem for the
good it will be a step in the right direction to also reach that
level of understanding that e verything that Hashem does if for
our ultimate good. We hope that with the zechus of being Makir
Tov more and appreciating what we have, we will be zoche to many
s imchos in our community and in all of Klal Yisroel.
Rabbi
Raizman, an alumnus of the Kollel, and serves as Mashgiach
of Bais Medrash Mikor Chaim.
Halacha Encounters
Long Time, No See
Rabbi Avi Weinrib
In this week's Parsha we find the climax of the episode between
Yosef and his brothers. Yosef finally reveals his identity
and immediately questions whether his father is still
alive. This is followed with the joyous reunion between
Yakov and Yosef who have not seen each other for 22 years.
Chazal tell us that at the moment they met Yakov was
reciting the Shema1. Seemingly there should
have additionally been a blessing that both Yakov and
Yosef were required to recite. The Talmud2 tells
us that if one sees a friend he has not seen in thirty
days he recites the blessing Baruch Atta… Shehechiyonu
V'kiymanu V'higiyanu Lazman Hazeh. If one has not seen
his friend for twelve months he would instead recite
the blessing Baruch Atta… Michaye HaMeisim. It would
seem that both Yakov and Yosef were required to make
the blessing of Michaye HaMeisim. In this week's Halacha
Encounter we will attempt to determine if this was the
case or not. Furthermore, most of us have been in situations
where we have not seen a friend or relative in twelve
months and yet no one seems to be accustomed to reciting
these blessings. Why is this so and what is the Halachic
basis for this?
R' Yakov Chagiz was asked in his work Shalos U'Teshuvos Halachos
Ketanos3 if one would recite these blessings
if he had received a letter from his friend during the
30 days or twelve months. He differentiates between the
blessing of Michaye HaMeisim and Shehechiyonu. Michaye
HaMeisim would not be recited if a letter was received;
however, Shehechiyonu would still be required. The Poskim4 explain
the difference as follows. The blessing of Michaye HaMeisim
is recited as a praise that the person is still alive
while Shehechiyonu is recited because of the joy one
feels upon seeing his friend.[ As to why Michaye HaMeisim
requires twelve months and Shehechiyonu only thirty days,
see Mishna Berura 225-4, Aruch Hashulchan 225-2 and Minhag
Yisroel Torah 225-1.] Therefore, if one receives a letter and
knows his friend is still alive, no blessing is required.
The Poskim5 extend this and say that even
if one would not actually receive a letter but be in
touch with his friend or even friends of his friend and would hear
if something happened to his friend, no blessing would
be recited upon meeting that friend. The blessing of
Shehechiyonu, however, which is recited upon the joy
one receives upon meeting his friend is recited even
if there was contact during that time. This is the opinion
of the Aruch Hashulchan6 and other Poskim7.
However, the Mishna Berura8 seems to make
no distinction between the blessings and in both cases
rules that if there was any contact no blessing is recited.
It would therefore follow that with the communication
devices available today according to the Mishna Berura
there would be almost no case where the blessings would
be required.
Additionally, the Shulchan Aruch9 writes that these
blessings are only recited when one feels a tremendous
amount of joy upon seeing his friend. Some write10 that
being that it is difficult to determine the level of
joy necessary and with whom that level is reached, common
custom is not to recite these blessings. Finally, some11 write
that being that flattery is so prevalent today there
is concern that one is only reciting the blessing to
flatter his friend so he should feel as if he were sorely
missed. Based on these three reasons, common custom is
not to recite these blessings.
There are two situations where even the Mishna Berura would agree
one should recite these blessings.When one's wife gives
birth to a boy the blessing of Hatov Vihmaitiv is recited[see
O.H. 223-1] On the birth of a girl this blessing is not
recited [See Shar Hatziyon 223-3 ]. However the
Mishna Berura rules that when one sees his daughter for
the first time the blessing of Shechiyanu is recited.
He says the joy one recieves is obviously much greater
than when one meets his friend who he has not seen in
30 days.[See Igros Moshe O.H.5 43-5,Halichos Shlomo 23-10
and Zos Habracha page 169 ] A second case would be if
a very close friend or relative would go to war or be
very ill and is in a constant state of danger, and one
would then meet the person after 30 days or 12 months
and he would be well, then the blessings would be recited.
Being that his friend was in a constant state of danger
one is never sure until the moment he meets his
friend that all is well.12
As far as Yakov and Yosef are concerned, it would seem that
since both were aware before meeting that the other was
well, the blessing of Michaye HaMeisim would not be recited.
As far as Shehechiyonu it would seem to depend if they
followed the Aruch Hashulchan in which case they would
recite Shehechiyonu or the opinion of the Mishna Berura
in which case they would not. However R' Dovid Zucker
shlit”a maintained that even according to the Mishna
Berura the blessing of Michaya Maysim would be recited.The
reasoning is as follows. Yakov had no idea throughout
the 22 years that Yosef was alive and was only
told as part of going to see Yosef. Such a case can be
compared to the soldier returning from battle calling
his parents on the way to inform them that he is coming.
Since their awareness was a part of him coming home this
can not be compared to the case where there was contact
between the two parties during the 30 days or 12 months.
Yosef, however who was aware during the years of seperation
that Yakov was well would still not recite the blessing.
______________________________
1 Rashi Bereishis
46-29
2 Berachos 58b
3 Volume 1 Siman
220
4 Aruch Hashulchan
225-2,Yichave Daas 4-17
5 Sefer Zos Habracha
Page 169 Orchos Rabeinu Volume 1 Page 94
6 ibid.
7 Halichos Shlomo
Volume 1 23 Footnote 53; Yichave Daas Volume 4-17
8 225-2. See however
Halichos Shlomo ibid. and Sefer Birchos Hashem Volume
4 Page 124 who writes there is a printing mistake
in the Mishna Berura. However most Poskim accept the
Mishna Berura at face value. See Shone Halachos, Zos
Habracha ibid, Shu”t Shaivet Halevi Volume 5-24-2
9 O.H. 225-1
10 Likutei Maharich
11 Chesed Lialaphim
16
12 See Shar haziyun
225-3 and Shu”t Shaivet Halevi ibid.